My parents were recently up north visiting from their home
in Florida.
On their last night here, they stayed at my uncle's camp.
So I drove an hour and a half into the mountains to see
them one more time before they left.
Just as I was pulling into the little "one horse town" of
Sherburne, I noticed that I was getting very low on gas,
but I told myself that I'd be able to get some gas on the
way back home.
Well, it was nearly 7 o'clock when I arrived, and we were
having such a good time, that it was 1:30 in the morning
before we knew it.
When I started the vehicle, the gauge was reading even
lower than it did when I pulled in. I felt lucky that the
camp was higher in elevation than the town, so I did a lot
of coasting in neutral. Boy, was I happy to see the
traffic light in town. A quick right and I'd be filling
up...
But the gas station was closed.
Oh no.
I was running on fumes, and nothing was open - not even a
bar!
Four miles to Earlville!? Uh. I'll never make it.
But with no choice, it was north to Earlville... at forty
miles an hour to conserve gas. Man, it seemed all uphill!
Where were the downhill areas?
Finally, mercifully I made it to Earlville... only to find
that their gas station was closed, too.
I was sunk. What to do? What to do?
I was remembering the time twenty two years ago, when I
used my mom's car and didn't put any gas in it before
coming home. She ripped me a new one as she told me how
she coasted into the gas station after the engine died.
I'm not going to be so lucky this time.
Keep going north...
Oh, if I get out of this, I'll never let it get below a
quarter tank again. I swear.
Twelve minutes and seven a-g-o-n-i-z-i-n-g miles later, I
see Colgate University. Oh, thank God. There is no way
that the gas station will be closed, not in a college town
like Hamilton. Now if I can just make it to the gas
station.
There it is!!
And the lights are on. Hooray!! Yippee!!
Oh. Thank you, God in Heaven. And yes, I coasted in, in
neutral, just to make sure I made it all the way.
During the rest of the trip home, I felt lucky to have
been given this lesson. Partly because I didn't lose
anything in the process of learning... many lessons involve
lots of pain. And mostly because it was a lesson that will
most certainly serve me well in the weeks, months and years
to come.
You don't put off things that should be done now.
I should have assumed that the mini-market would close. I
didn't need to put it off. And I should have paid
attention to the clock.
As I was praying for an open gas station, I was
"shoulding" all over myself, and the good part was, I was
listening.
It was my fault.
And the lesson was learned... again.
And in taking complete responsibility instead of cursing
the store, I will have once again set a course in motion...
to be paying attention to situations where my decisions
affect outcomes.
No, you can't always plan for everything. And no,
nobody's perfect.
But you can be intelligent. Stupidity is no excuse.
Ignorance is definitely not bliss. It's loss. Pain.
Possibly death.
Michael Landon was best known for his starring roles in
Bonanza, Little House on the Prairie, and Highway to
Heaven. He lived hard, worked hard, partied hard and put
off eating healthy.
I'll never forget his final appearance with Johnny
Carson's Tonight Show in 1991. He said that he had
pancreatic cancer. For people not in the know, this is one
of the most deadly cancers. Most people don't survive
longer than a few months after diagnosis.
His wife had been pushing him to adopt a more vegetarian
lifestyle for years. But he just put it off. There was
always time to start eating right... right?
Not long before his Tonight Show appearance, in constant
agony, facing death, he finally gave into her pressure.
And he told Johnny that the pain from the cancer was out of
this world. Simply terrible.
But, he said, from the day he started exclusively drinking
the vegetable juices his wife prepared for him, the pain
stopped completely. Just like that. So understandably, he
was in good spirits on the show.
Unfortunately, it was too late.
The cancer had progressed too far - his body was too toxic
for the pure, cleansing food to save him.
So the message today is this, whatever is pressing,
whatever job has to be done or situation needs to be
attended to, do it now.
Sounds simple right?
Well, it is.
Pull out your copy of First Things First - get your
planner out - look at what is important in your life... and
attend to it.
And you'll find that when you finally start paying
attention to the big things, the important stuff, the
important people, you'll feel... well, it's hard to put
into words.
At worst it reduces the frequency of angry fights with
others over your "forgetting" things. People WILL notice
the difference in you.
And at best, you'll be setting in motion a habit that
could transport you to the top of your profession. It can
make you admired and respected by everyone you know. It
can give you a peace of mind that few enjoy.
Ask constantly, "What COULD happen if I put this off?"
Join the few. It's not lonely there.
(sumber : www.todayisyourdaytowin.com)
Tampilkan postingan dengan label MINDED. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label MINDED. Tampilkan semua postingan
Minggu, 09 Agustus 2009
emotion controller
I guess I better start right out by explaining the word
'Anger' as we'll be using it. By anger, I mean that you
see something or something happens and it spurs in you a
burning, all-encompassing desire to fix the problem.
The problem with most people is that they get angry at
other people for taking advantage of their weaknesses.
"You took my boyfriend." Hey, if your relationship was
good, there wouldn't be a problem. The blame rests with
you and/or your boyfriend, not anyone else.
A few years ago, I met Rudy Ruettiger. The movie 'Rudy'
is based on his life. He told me that the thing that kept
him going in the face of every adversity you can imagine
was anger...
Anger at everyone that told him playing football for Notre
Dame was crazy; for everyone that told him that he wasn't
cut out for college; that he ought to work in the factory
because it was safe; that he ought to forget his stupid
dream.
The nay sayers motivated him. It made him angry when
people knocked his dream.
If you've never seen the movie, I would recommend that you
buy it and wear it out. And if you don't have any tissues,
get some before you hit "play."
What do most people do when others rain on their parade?
What do you do?
Inside, you probably laugh right along and say something
like, "Yeah, it is kind of silly. That IS a little out of
my league."
Why not get angry and do something about it, instead.
Show them you can reach your dream.
Few people like to stand out. To be seen as different.
Well, anger is really just another way of describing one
of the first elements that go into making a personal
mission statement. I mean after all, what would a mission
be if you weren't completely behind it emotionally? It
wouldn't be a mission. It would be just a wish. And
wishes don't usually come true.
Missions, though, usually ensure that dreams become
realized.
But when you've got a mission, it sets your whole being
into motion.
Great missions come about often when you just can't stand
the way something is and you feel like you must change it.
"MADD" (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) came about because
of anger. "America's Most Wanted" came about because of
anger.
So many breakthroughs and achievements would never have
happened unless someone got mad and said "I'm not going to
take it any more!"
I did that years ago and went looking for tools to change
the way I thought. It took a while, but I found them and
altered them to create a technology that ultimately changed
who I am and changed the lives of thousands around the
world... all because of massive pain and dissatisfaction.
Here's what I want you to do...
Find something in your life that you're dissatisfied with
and get yourself worked up. Ask yourself what your life
will be like if this doesn't change. Feel the pain. Get
angry. Don't blame others in this mental exercise. You're
responsible for your own circumstances. Get that straight.
Feel the pain now. Compare those feelings to the feelings
you'd have if you were just to fix the situation now. No
matter what kind of effort it would take to fix. It might
take years for you to get things the way you want them.
But compare the two futures. Get angry at the first
future. Get scared. And get determined not to end up
there.
Make it a must. You must change it. Feel it. If you've
got to cry and scream and pound your fists, fine...if
that's what it takes.
Look now at the better future you saw. How big is the
gap? Would it be worth any effort that it might take? I
think you'll find that it probably is.
Without dissatisfaction, and often anger, it's verrrry
difficult to get and stay motivated. You must keep your
dissatisfaction in your mind daily.
Use it as fuel for your motivation.
As long as you continue to take personal responsibility
for your life, this can work miracles.
But as long as you keep blaming others for your problems,
you'll continue to have them.
Get dissatisfied. It will help you feel courageous, even
if last week you were hiding out.
'Anger' as we'll be using it. By anger, I mean that you
see something or something happens and it spurs in you a
burning, all-encompassing desire to fix the problem.
The problem with most people is that they get angry at
other people for taking advantage of their weaknesses.
"You took my boyfriend." Hey, if your relationship was
good, there wouldn't be a problem. The blame rests with
you and/or your boyfriend, not anyone else.
A few years ago, I met Rudy Ruettiger. The movie 'Rudy'
is based on his life. He told me that the thing that kept
him going in the face of every adversity you can imagine
was anger...
Anger at everyone that told him playing football for Notre
Dame was crazy; for everyone that told him that he wasn't
cut out for college; that he ought to work in the factory
because it was safe; that he ought to forget his stupid
dream.
The nay sayers motivated him. It made him angry when
people knocked his dream.
If you've never seen the movie, I would recommend that you
buy it and wear it out. And if you don't have any tissues,
get some before you hit "play."
What do most people do when others rain on their parade?
What do you do?
Inside, you probably laugh right along and say something
like, "Yeah, it is kind of silly. That IS a little out of
my league."
Why not get angry and do something about it, instead.
Show them you can reach your dream.
Few people like to stand out. To be seen as different.
Well, anger is really just another way of describing one
of the first elements that go into making a personal
mission statement. I mean after all, what would a mission
be if you weren't completely behind it emotionally? It
wouldn't be a mission. It would be just a wish. And
wishes don't usually come true.
Missions, though, usually ensure that dreams become
realized.
But when you've got a mission, it sets your whole being
into motion.
Great missions come about often when you just can't stand
the way something is and you feel like you must change it.
"MADD" (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) came about because
of anger. "America's Most Wanted" came about because of
anger.
So many breakthroughs and achievements would never have
happened unless someone got mad and said "I'm not going to
take it any more!"
I did that years ago and went looking for tools to change
the way I thought. It took a while, but I found them and
altered them to create a technology that ultimately changed
who I am and changed the lives of thousands around the
world... all because of massive pain and dissatisfaction.
Here's what I want you to do...
Find something in your life that you're dissatisfied with
and get yourself worked up. Ask yourself what your life
will be like if this doesn't change. Feel the pain. Get
angry. Don't blame others in this mental exercise. You're
responsible for your own circumstances. Get that straight.
Feel the pain now. Compare those feelings to the feelings
you'd have if you were just to fix the situation now. No
matter what kind of effort it would take to fix. It might
take years for you to get things the way you want them.
But compare the two futures. Get angry at the first
future. Get scared. And get determined not to end up
there.
Make it a must. You must change it. Feel it. If you've
got to cry and scream and pound your fists, fine...if
that's what it takes.
Look now at the better future you saw. How big is the
gap? Would it be worth any effort that it might take? I
think you'll find that it probably is.
Without dissatisfaction, and often anger, it's verrrry
difficult to get and stay motivated. You must keep your
dissatisfaction in your mind daily.
Use it as fuel for your motivation.
As long as you continue to take personal responsibility
for your life, this can work miracles.
But as long as you keep blaming others for your problems,
you'll continue to have them.
Get dissatisfied. It will help you feel courageous, even
if last week you were hiding out.
mood is very good
No doubt, you have plenty of times that you can recall
where you did something very well. You felt good. Your
mood was positive. Your focus was on the task or
game...and you were ON.
You said the right things. You hit the ball, made the
shots, ran like the wind. Mistakes, if they happened at
all, were brushed off and forgotten about. You were
definitely in the ZONE and wanted the day to go on forever.
But it didn't...
The next day wasn't quite as good, possibly. And within a
day or two or six, things were back to normal... average.
Not good, not bad. Just vanilla.
Is this you?
If not, then congratulations. But even life's top
performers don't regularly pull rabbits out of the hat in
every area of their lives. It's too common for many people
to be miracle workers at home or at work, but miserable
failures at just about everything else.
Too often, in the area that works, it's more a factor of
doing that one thing for so long that you get proficient at
it. Repetition over the years has worn the grooves of
mastery.
It happened over time, almost without your awareness. It
just came because you did the same thing again and again.
Through all your mistakes you learned how to get things
done fast and easy.
It's too bad you didn't have a course to teach you how to
get these same results in everything you do, no matter what
it is... training that could help you regularly have this
incredible feeling that nothing was above your capability.
But thoughts just kind of pop in and that's the way it's
supposed to work, right? 'How could I control my
thoughts?' you think. 'They just pop in. I feel a certain
way because that's just who I am,' you say.
Wrong...
We get our beliefs if they SEEM accurate. A few mistakes
and BOOM! We define ourselves as not good at something. It
seems to make sense. If other people confirm our
suspicions, then it must be true. Someone does something
we don't like or doesn't look right and BOOM! we make
instant judgments about them without a second's thought.
If the first bite doesn't taste familiar, WHAM! Don't like
it.
Most people get a belief about a thing and stay with that
belief forever, whether it's true or not.
Where that can be the most detrimental is when it's a
limiting belief about yourself and your worth.
Just because you made a particular mistake a number of
times doesn't mean that you'll never be good at something.
Your mind doesn't have to be on autopilot. Thoughts don't
have to just pop into your head. You can control your
thoughts. And when you do start to take control of your
mind, your emotions and actions can be similar to the
greatest successes the world has ever known.
When I took the Silva Mind Method training course in the
early 90's, I would get into my "alpha state" and repeat,
over and over, statements that affirmed my success and
ability. I told myself that there wasn't anything I
couldn't do. I took all my limiting beliefs and put them
on a mental screen and wiped them off one at a time.
Gone. Adios. Arrivederci. Au revoir.
Any belief that didn't support my new goals got cleaned
away. And positive affirmations re-patterned new beliefs
of ability, self-worth and confidence.
Keep in mind, I did this regularly. And I still do.
After all, your mind is thinking constantly. And it's
impossible to tell yourself that you're a genius once and
have it stick. Not when you follow it up with a very human
mistake an hour later, and the first thing you're tempted
to think is, 'See, I knew I was fooling myself! I am a
dunce!'
Your current beliefs took time to take root and the new
ones will also take time. Think of your mind as a field.
You're planting seeds now. The new shoots will come up and
produce fruit, but you've got to water and fertilize them.
You've got to pull the weeds out constantly.
But what you'll have for your effort is some of the
sweetest, juiciest crops of empowering and TRUE beliefs you
could ever have. With these new beliefs will come powerful
emotions and determination that will astound you. Sweet
Success!
And the nice thing is, your new beliefs are always in
season!
where you did something very well. You felt good. Your
mood was positive. Your focus was on the task or
game...and you were ON.
You said the right things. You hit the ball, made the
shots, ran like the wind. Mistakes, if they happened at
all, were brushed off and forgotten about. You were
definitely in the ZONE and wanted the day to go on forever.
But it didn't...
The next day wasn't quite as good, possibly. And within a
day or two or six, things were back to normal... average.
Not good, not bad. Just vanilla.
Is this you?
If not, then congratulations. But even life's top
performers don't regularly pull rabbits out of the hat in
every area of their lives. It's too common for many people
to be miracle workers at home or at work, but miserable
failures at just about everything else.
Too often, in the area that works, it's more a factor of
doing that one thing for so long that you get proficient at
it. Repetition over the years has worn the grooves of
mastery.
It happened over time, almost without your awareness. It
just came because you did the same thing again and again.
Through all your mistakes you learned how to get things
done fast and easy.
It's too bad you didn't have a course to teach you how to
get these same results in everything you do, no matter what
it is... training that could help you regularly have this
incredible feeling that nothing was above your capability.
But thoughts just kind of pop in and that's the way it's
supposed to work, right? 'How could I control my
thoughts?' you think. 'They just pop in. I feel a certain
way because that's just who I am,' you say.
Wrong...
We get our beliefs if they SEEM accurate. A few mistakes
and BOOM! We define ourselves as not good at something. It
seems to make sense. If other people confirm our
suspicions, then it must be true. Someone does something
we don't like or doesn't look right and BOOM! we make
instant judgments about them without a second's thought.
If the first bite doesn't taste familiar, WHAM! Don't like
it.
Most people get a belief about a thing and stay with that
belief forever, whether it's true or not.
Where that can be the most detrimental is when it's a
limiting belief about yourself and your worth.
Just because you made a particular mistake a number of
times doesn't mean that you'll never be good at something.
Your mind doesn't have to be on autopilot. Thoughts don't
have to just pop into your head. You can control your
thoughts. And when you do start to take control of your
mind, your emotions and actions can be similar to the
greatest successes the world has ever known.
When I took the Silva Mind Method training course in the
early 90's, I would get into my "alpha state" and repeat,
over and over, statements that affirmed my success and
ability. I told myself that there wasn't anything I
couldn't do. I took all my limiting beliefs and put them
on a mental screen and wiped them off one at a time.
Gone. Adios. Arrivederci. Au revoir.
Any belief that didn't support my new goals got cleaned
away. And positive affirmations re-patterned new beliefs
of ability, self-worth and confidence.
Keep in mind, I did this regularly. And I still do.
After all, your mind is thinking constantly. And it's
impossible to tell yourself that you're a genius once and
have it stick. Not when you follow it up with a very human
mistake an hour later, and the first thing you're tempted
to think is, 'See, I knew I was fooling myself! I am a
dunce!'
Your current beliefs took time to take root and the new
ones will also take time. Think of your mind as a field.
You're planting seeds now. The new shoots will come up and
produce fruit, but you've got to water and fertilize them.
You've got to pull the weeds out constantly.
But what you'll have for your effort is some of the
sweetest, juiciest crops of empowering and TRUE beliefs you
could ever have. With these new beliefs will come powerful
emotions and determination that will astound you. Sweet
Success!
And the nice thing is, your new beliefs are always in
season!
Jumat, 07 Agustus 2009
Good Time
It's nearly impossible to be in a good mood all the time.
No question about it.
People who are don't get to move about without supervision.
But it IS possible to take just about anything that could
happen to you and USE it to feel good... happy, empowered,
strong.
A woman I know used to look at the fact that her now ex-
spouse did everything possible to sabotage her finishing
college, and felt upset whenever she thought about it. It
seemed to her that she would have been much farther along
in her career, she'd probably live in a much nicer home,
etc. if she had been able to finish college right after
high school.
This was a constant source of despair. She felt that if
she had not married him, her life would be so much better
today.
I told her that I didn't believe in that; that I feel that
there is a reason for everything... even though it often
doesn't seem that way.
If you examine your own life, I think you'll see that
those things that get you down often are, in truth, the
source of some of your greatest joys and may have set the
direction at some of the most important crossroads of your
life.
In her case, as a result of her being married, she had
moved to a different city, where she got a great job and
flourished in it. She made a lot of great friends whom she
loves deeply. She has a daughter that she wouldn't trade
for the world. Plus, the move to the new city made it
possible for her to ultimately meet and marry the man she
calls her soul mate.
So, none of the great parts of her life would exist if it
wasn't for her first marriage.
Although it wasn't the wisest thing to do at the time, it
was now ridiculous to beat herself up for succumbing to the
pressure her ex-husband applied all those years ago. I
helped her to realize that it's BECAUSE of her decision to
marry at a young age and not finish college immediately
that gave her all the things that she enjoys most about her
life.
She ultimately got her degree and joined the ranks of CPA,
just as she would have if she stayed in college to begin
with.
If she had done it differently, nothing that she holds so
dear today would be in her life. Kind of like the movie,
"It's A Wonderful Life," huh?
After I pointed that out, she realized that problems are
not problems at all.
Problems, as we call them, are situations that either
teach us to go forward more intelligently, or they're dead
ends. But they can only be dead ends if we decide they'll
be.
If we hold onto our old decisions, "bad" breaks, and
situations that didn't work out for us in the short run,
using them to remind us that we're just not meant to be
happy, that we're not good enough, that we'll never get
another chance...
...then that's exactly what our life's story will be.
Even when things are great, it's still possible to look
back with regret, isn't it? How does it make you feel when
you do that?
Like crap?
Then you just need perspective.
Look at all those situations that appear to have been
tragedies. See what they meant to you in terms of people
you met as a result. Career moves that worked out well.
How about family, health, location, attitude, schooling and
other learning? What about skills you now have that you
may not have acquired if your "problem" never happened?
Do this for every "problem" you ever had that you think or
even "know" stopped you or limited your life in some way.
I think... no, I know that you'll find otherwise.
There are no such things as problems.
Shakespeare said, "Nothing is either good or bad, but
thinking makes it so." You see, there are certain
indisputable principles of life, and this is one of them.
Just because you've managed to live for 20, 40 or even 80
years and this never occurred to you doesn't mean it's not
true.
There is nothing more true. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
Once you start to instantly "feel" deep inside you that
this thing that just happened to you is actually your next
gift, your next chance to grow, to gain peace of mind, to
finally understand that there IS such a thing as a problem-
free life...
...that's when you'll stop living with wild mood swings.
That is when you'll realize that you can reduce and even
get off your happy pills because your mental focus isn't on
problems any more. That's when you'll start doing things
that used to make you nervous and scared and you won't be
scared ay more.
When you accept the unwanted hurdles that pop up daily as
simply a part of your path and move over them like someone
who's on the way somewhere, then every day will go a lot
smoother and happier.
So do this...
Write down some rotten stuff that's happened to you in the
last year or so. Then look for the silver lining in each
one. Write down the good that came out of each one. If
you can't, then you're not looking with intention of
finding it... because it IS there.
Write them down and carry the list with you. Then, the
next time you find yourself in an irritated mood, pull out
your list and see what all your hurdles have actually done
for you.
I bet you'll smile.
And isn't that better than fuming? You'd better say yes!
No question about it.
People who are don't get to move about without supervision.
But it IS possible to take just about anything that could
happen to you and USE it to feel good... happy, empowered,
strong.
A woman I know used to look at the fact that her now ex-
spouse did everything possible to sabotage her finishing
college, and felt upset whenever she thought about it. It
seemed to her that she would have been much farther along
in her career, she'd probably live in a much nicer home,
etc. if she had been able to finish college right after
high school.
This was a constant source of despair. She felt that if
she had not married him, her life would be so much better
today.
I told her that I didn't believe in that; that I feel that
there is a reason for everything... even though it often
doesn't seem that way.
If you examine your own life, I think you'll see that
those things that get you down often are, in truth, the
source of some of your greatest joys and may have set the
direction at some of the most important crossroads of your
life.
In her case, as a result of her being married, she had
moved to a different city, where she got a great job and
flourished in it. She made a lot of great friends whom she
loves deeply. She has a daughter that she wouldn't trade
for the world. Plus, the move to the new city made it
possible for her to ultimately meet and marry the man she
calls her soul mate.
So, none of the great parts of her life would exist if it
wasn't for her first marriage.
Although it wasn't the wisest thing to do at the time, it
was now ridiculous to beat herself up for succumbing to the
pressure her ex-husband applied all those years ago. I
helped her to realize that it's BECAUSE of her decision to
marry at a young age and not finish college immediately
that gave her all the things that she enjoys most about her
life.
She ultimately got her degree and joined the ranks of CPA,
just as she would have if she stayed in college to begin
with.
If she had done it differently, nothing that she holds so
dear today would be in her life. Kind of like the movie,
"It's A Wonderful Life," huh?
After I pointed that out, she realized that problems are
not problems at all.
Problems, as we call them, are situations that either
teach us to go forward more intelligently, or they're dead
ends. But they can only be dead ends if we decide they'll
be.
If we hold onto our old decisions, "bad" breaks, and
situations that didn't work out for us in the short run,
using them to remind us that we're just not meant to be
happy, that we're not good enough, that we'll never get
another chance...
...then that's exactly what our life's story will be.
Even when things are great, it's still possible to look
back with regret, isn't it? How does it make you feel when
you do that?
Like crap?
Then you just need perspective.
Look at all those situations that appear to have been
tragedies. See what they meant to you in terms of people
you met as a result. Career moves that worked out well.
How about family, health, location, attitude, schooling and
other learning? What about skills you now have that you
may not have acquired if your "problem" never happened?
Do this for every "problem" you ever had that you think or
even "know" stopped you or limited your life in some way.
I think... no, I know that you'll find otherwise.
There are no such things as problems.
Shakespeare said, "Nothing is either good or bad, but
thinking makes it so." You see, there are certain
indisputable principles of life, and this is one of them.
Just because you've managed to live for 20, 40 or even 80
years and this never occurred to you doesn't mean it's not
true.
There is nothing more true. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
Once you start to instantly "feel" deep inside you that
this thing that just happened to you is actually your next
gift, your next chance to grow, to gain peace of mind, to
finally understand that there IS such a thing as a problem-
free life...
...that's when you'll stop living with wild mood swings.
That is when you'll realize that you can reduce and even
get off your happy pills because your mental focus isn't on
problems any more. That's when you'll start doing things
that used to make you nervous and scared and you won't be
scared ay more.
When you accept the unwanted hurdles that pop up daily as
simply a part of your path and move over them like someone
who's on the way somewhere, then every day will go a lot
smoother and happier.
So do this...
Write down some rotten stuff that's happened to you in the
last year or so. Then look for the silver lining in each
one. Write down the good that came out of each one. If
you can't, then you're not looking with intention of
finding it... because it IS there.
Write them down and carry the list with you. Then, the
next time you find yourself in an irritated mood, pull out
your list and see what all your hurdles have actually done
for you.
I bet you'll smile.
And isn't that better than fuming? You'd better say yes!
motivation today
It's nearly impossible to be in a good mood all the time.
No question about it.
People who are don't get to move about without supervision.
But it IS possible to take just about anything that could
happen to you and USE it to feel good... happy, empowered,
strong.
A woman I know used to look at the fact that her now ex-
spouse did everything possible to sabotage her finishing
college, and felt upset whenever she thought about it. It
seemed to her that she would have been much farther along
in her career, she'd probably live in a much nicer home,
etc. if she had been able to finish college right after
high school.
This was a constant source of despair. She felt that if
she had not married him, her life would be so much better
today.
I told her that I didn't believe in that; that I feel that
there is a reason for everything... even though it often
doesn't seem that way.
If you examine your own life, I think you'll see that
those things that get you down often are, in truth, the
source of some of your greatest joys and may have set the
direction at some of the most important crossroads of your
life.
In her case, as a result of her being married, she had
moved to a different city, where she got a great job and
flourished in it. She made a lot of great friends whom she
loves deeply. She has a daughter that she wouldn't trade
for the world. Plus, the move to the new city made it
possible for her to ultimately meet and marry the man she
calls her soul mate.
So, none of the great parts of her life would exist if it
wasn't for her first marriage.
Although it wasn't the wisest thing to do at the time, it
was now ridiculous to beat herself up for succumbing to the
pressure her ex-husband applied all those years ago. I
helped her to realize that it's BECAUSE of her decision to
marry at a young age and not finish college immediately
that gave her all the things that she enjoys most about her
life.
She ultimately got her degree and joined the ranks of CPA,
just as she would have if she stayed in college to begin
with.
If she had done it differently, nothing that she holds so
dear today would be in her life. Kind of like the movie,
"It's A Wonderful Life," huh?
After I pointed that out, she realized that problems are
not problems at all.
Problems, as we call them, are situations that either
teach us to go forward more intelligently, or they're dead
ends. But they can only be dead ends if we decide they'll
be.
If we hold onto our old decisions, "bad" breaks, and
situations that didn't work out for us in the short run,
using them to remind us that we're just not meant to be
happy, that we're not good enough, that we'll never get
another chance...
...then that's exactly what our life's story will be.
Even when things are great, it's still possible to look
back with regret, isn't it? How does it make you feel when
you do that?
Like crap?
Then you just need perspective.
Look at all those situations that appear to have been
tragedies. See what they meant to you in terms of people
you met as a result. Career moves that worked out well.
How about family, health, location, attitude, schooling and
other learning? What about skills you now have that you
may not have acquired if your "problem" never happened?
Do this for every "problem" you ever had that you think or
even "know" stopped you or limited your life in some way.
I think... no, I know that you'll find otherwise.
There are no such things as problems.
Shakespeare said, "Nothing is either good or bad, but
thinking makes it so." You see, there are certain
indisputable principles of life, and this is one of them.
Just because you've managed to live for 20, 40 or even 80
years and this never occurred to you doesn't mean it's not
true.
There is nothing more true. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
Once you start to instantly "feel" deep inside you that
this thing that just happened to you is actually your next
gift, your next chance to grow, to gain peace of mind, to
finally understand that there IS such a thing as a problem-
free life...
...that's when you'll stop living with wild mood swings.
That is when you'll realize that you can reduce and even
get off your happy pills because your mental focus isn't on
problems any more. That's when you'll start doing things
that used to make you nervous and scared and you won't be
scared ay more.
When you accept the unwanted hurdles that pop up daily as
simply a part of your path and move over them like someone
who's on the way somewhere, then every day will go a lot
smoother and happier.
So do this...
Write down some rotten stuff that's happened to you in the
last year or so. Then look for the silver lining in each
one. Write down the good that came out of each one. If
you can't, then you're not looking with intention of
finding it... because it IS there.
Write them down and carry the list with you. Then, the
next time you find yourself in an irritated mood, pull out
your list and see what all your hurdles have actually done
for you.
I bet you'll smile.
And isn't that better than fuming? You'd better say yes!
No question about it.
People who are don't get to move about without supervision.
But it IS possible to take just about anything that could
happen to you and USE it to feel good... happy, empowered,
strong.
A woman I know used to look at the fact that her now ex-
spouse did everything possible to sabotage her finishing
college, and felt upset whenever she thought about it. It
seemed to her that she would have been much farther along
in her career, she'd probably live in a much nicer home,
etc. if she had been able to finish college right after
high school.
This was a constant source of despair. She felt that if
she had not married him, her life would be so much better
today.
I told her that I didn't believe in that; that I feel that
there is a reason for everything... even though it often
doesn't seem that way.
If you examine your own life, I think you'll see that
those things that get you down often are, in truth, the
source of some of your greatest joys and may have set the
direction at some of the most important crossroads of your
life.
In her case, as a result of her being married, she had
moved to a different city, where she got a great job and
flourished in it. She made a lot of great friends whom she
loves deeply. She has a daughter that she wouldn't trade
for the world. Plus, the move to the new city made it
possible for her to ultimately meet and marry the man she
calls her soul mate.
So, none of the great parts of her life would exist if it
wasn't for her first marriage.
Although it wasn't the wisest thing to do at the time, it
was now ridiculous to beat herself up for succumbing to the
pressure her ex-husband applied all those years ago. I
helped her to realize that it's BECAUSE of her decision to
marry at a young age and not finish college immediately
that gave her all the things that she enjoys most about her
life.
She ultimately got her degree and joined the ranks of CPA,
just as she would have if she stayed in college to begin
with.
If she had done it differently, nothing that she holds so
dear today would be in her life. Kind of like the movie,
"It's A Wonderful Life," huh?
After I pointed that out, she realized that problems are
not problems at all.
Problems, as we call them, are situations that either
teach us to go forward more intelligently, or they're dead
ends. But they can only be dead ends if we decide they'll
be.
If we hold onto our old decisions, "bad" breaks, and
situations that didn't work out for us in the short run,
using them to remind us that we're just not meant to be
happy, that we're not good enough, that we'll never get
another chance...
...then that's exactly what our life's story will be.
Even when things are great, it's still possible to look
back with regret, isn't it? How does it make you feel when
you do that?
Like crap?
Then you just need perspective.
Look at all those situations that appear to have been
tragedies. See what they meant to you in terms of people
you met as a result. Career moves that worked out well.
How about family, health, location, attitude, schooling and
other learning? What about skills you now have that you
may not have acquired if your "problem" never happened?
Do this for every "problem" you ever had that you think or
even "know" stopped you or limited your life in some way.
I think... no, I know that you'll find otherwise.
There are no such things as problems.
Shakespeare said, "Nothing is either good or bad, but
thinking makes it so." You see, there are certain
indisputable principles of life, and this is one of them.
Just because you've managed to live for 20, 40 or even 80
years and this never occurred to you doesn't mean it's not
true.
There is nothing more true. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
Once you start to instantly "feel" deep inside you that
this thing that just happened to you is actually your next
gift, your next chance to grow, to gain peace of mind, to
finally understand that there IS such a thing as a problem-
free life...
...that's when you'll stop living with wild mood swings.
That is when you'll realize that you can reduce and even
get off your happy pills because your mental focus isn't on
problems any more. That's when you'll start doing things
that used to make you nervous and scared and you won't be
scared ay more.
When you accept the unwanted hurdles that pop up daily as
simply a part of your path and move over them like someone
who's on the way somewhere, then every day will go a lot
smoother and happier.
So do this...
Write down some rotten stuff that's happened to you in the
last year or so. Then look for the silver lining in each
one. Write down the good that came out of each one. If
you can't, then you're not looking with intention of
finding it... because it IS there.
Write them down and carry the list with you. Then, the
next time you find yourself in an irritated mood, pull out
your list and see what all your hurdles have actually done
for you.
I bet you'll smile.
And isn't that better than fuming? You'd better say yes!
motivation statements
I was always perplexed by the question, "What came first,
the chicken or the egg?" Does that have an answer? I
don't know.
But an equally good one that does have an answer is, "What
comes first, confidence or large achievements?"
The answer most definitely is confidence.
No. You don't need large accomplishments to gain
confidence.
But what creates confidence and how can you get more of it
so you can consistently achieve more and have fun doing it?
And what is it that causes a loss of confidence?
It's easy to see in the world of sports the difference
between confidence and doubt. Team A goes on a tear and
destroys their opponent by an enormous amount of runs,
baskets, goals, etc. But the next night, you've got the
same two teams and this time it's Team B that administers
the beating.
What's the difference? Players on the losing teams often
say things like this:
- We just weren't focusing.
- Our emotions weren't in check.
- When they scored in the 3rd quarter, the wind went out
of our sails.
- We just weren't taking good shots.
- Once the crowd got into the game, we got out of our
rhythm.
Those things took their confidence away. They didn't
trust themselves. So their performance for the ENTIRE game
or large portions of it was sub-par.
The next day, different mind set... VERY different
results. The focus was there now. They clearly visualized
their outcomes. Momentum never left for long. Belief came
back. They refused to be intimidated and wouldn't accept
defeat.
I often use sports analogies because there is absolutely
no difference between games and life... especially your
life.
Every day, life demands that you perform. Whether it's
just cleaning the house, raking or trying to enjoy yourself
while you pack up and take a vacation with your family,
your confidence level affects your performance and your
enjoyment.
Confidence. What is it?
To me, confidence is just a feeling that you can do
something.
It's the current knowledge that if challenge pops up, and
they always do, you can overcome it. With this knowing
comes the ability to perform at your best.
But as soon as the feelings wane, your positive expectancy
drops and you start to focus on mistakes instead of your
goals. You start to feel less capable, so you hesitate.
When your confidence leaves you, you can't make decisions.
And when you start to replay these unsupportive mental
pictures, you literally couldn't buy a few minutes of
success at any price.
This power was never more evident as when John Wooden and
his legendary UCLA basketball teams won a record 88 games
in a row. For nearly 4 years, they didn't lose a single
game.
His teams won 7 consecutive national championships. In
the next thousand years, it hardly seems possible that his
records will be approached.
He knew that if he could gain momentum and hold it, the
other team would mentally give up. Their pressure forced
mistakes and caused the opponents to hesitate, to not want
to make more mistakes.
But when your focus is on not making mistakes... you make
mistakes!!!
So how do you gain confidence and keep it?
You must picture success before it happens. Your internal
dialog must be that of expecting success... yes, even
before you have success. How?
Well, how do you learn anything? By repetition, of course.
Look at your bookshelves. If there are more than a few
self-help books, and you don't yet have the qualities
taught inside the covers, then it's repetition that's
missing.
Coke and Pepsi spend tens of millions of dollars each year
to program you to buy their carbonated caramel water.
Why? Because repetition works.
They sell billions of dollars of their products simply
because they communicate their message constantly. Do you
remember the words of songs that you haven't heard in
years?
I'll bet you do!
If you take control of your own mind just like big
advertisers and communicate a positive message of belief
and hope and of expecting to get what you want, and you do
it with repetition, you know what?
You'll become confident.
At least you'll have hope, to start.
And confidence begins with hope. Without hope, a glimmer
of optimism, you wouldn't even try.
If you haven't up until now, start really using this tool.
If you do, just like a drill or a hammer makes building a
structure a thousand times better and faster, you'll
achieve more every single day... easier, better and with
more joy than you ever thought possible.
the chicken or the egg?" Does that have an answer? I
don't know.
But an equally good one that does have an answer is, "What
comes first, confidence or large achievements?"
The answer most definitely is confidence.
No. You don't need large accomplishments to gain
confidence.
But what creates confidence and how can you get more of it
so you can consistently achieve more and have fun doing it?
And what is it that causes a loss of confidence?
It's easy to see in the world of sports the difference
between confidence and doubt. Team A goes on a tear and
destroys their opponent by an enormous amount of runs,
baskets, goals, etc. But the next night, you've got the
same two teams and this time it's Team B that administers
the beating.
What's the difference? Players on the losing teams often
say things like this:
- We just weren't focusing.
- Our emotions weren't in check.
- When they scored in the 3rd quarter, the wind went out
of our sails.
- We just weren't taking good shots.
- Once the crowd got into the game, we got out of our
rhythm.
Those things took their confidence away. They didn't
trust themselves. So their performance for the ENTIRE game
or large portions of it was sub-par.
The next day, different mind set... VERY different
results. The focus was there now. They clearly visualized
their outcomes. Momentum never left for long. Belief came
back. They refused to be intimidated and wouldn't accept
defeat.
I often use sports analogies because there is absolutely
no difference between games and life... especially your
life.
Every day, life demands that you perform. Whether it's
just cleaning the house, raking or trying to enjoy yourself
while you pack up and take a vacation with your family,
your confidence level affects your performance and your
enjoyment.
Confidence. What is it?
To me, confidence is just a feeling that you can do
something.
It's the current knowledge that if challenge pops up, and
they always do, you can overcome it. With this knowing
comes the ability to perform at your best.
But as soon as the feelings wane, your positive expectancy
drops and you start to focus on mistakes instead of your
goals. You start to feel less capable, so you hesitate.
When your confidence leaves you, you can't make decisions.
And when you start to replay these unsupportive mental
pictures, you literally couldn't buy a few minutes of
success at any price.
This power was never more evident as when John Wooden and
his legendary UCLA basketball teams won a record 88 games
in a row. For nearly 4 years, they didn't lose a single
game.
His teams won 7 consecutive national championships. In
the next thousand years, it hardly seems possible that his
records will be approached.
He knew that if he could gain momentum and hold it, the
other team would mentally give up. Their pressure forced
mistakes and caused the opponents to hesitate, to not want
to make more mistakes.
But when your focus is on not making mistakes... you make
mistakes!!!
So how do you gain confidence and keep it?
You must picture success before it happens. Your internal
dialog must be that of expecting success... yes, even
before you have success. How?
Well, how do you learn anything? By repetition, of course.
Look at your bookshelves. If there are more than a few
self-help books, and you don't yet have the qualities
taught inside the covers, then it's repetition that's
missing.
Coke and Pepsi spend tens of millions of dollars each year
to program you to buy their carbonated caramel water.
Why? Because repetition works.
They sell billions of dollars of their products simply
because they communicate their message constantly. Do you
remember the words of songs that you haven't heard in
years?
I'll bet you do!
If you take control of your own mind just like big
advertisers and communicate a positive message of belief
and hope and of expecting to get what you want, and you do
it with repetition, you know what?
You'll become confident.
At least you'll have hope, to start.
And confidence begins with hope. Without hope, a glimmer
of optimism, you wouldn't even try.
If you haven't up until now, start really using this tool.
If you do, just like a drill or a hammer makes building a
structure a thousand times better and faster, you'll
achieve more every single day... easier, better and with
more joy than you ever thought possible.
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