If you want to change your life fast, even though it might
seem like it's slow, then take the statements below, put
them on index cards and read them 3 times/day. Morning,
noon and just before you close your eyes at night.
They'll seep into your consciousness. And since you'll be
saying them so often, you'll soon begin to believe them.
That's how most beliefs start. Spaced repetition of thought.
Your attitudes will then positively change your emotions,
and you'll be compelled to do more... And you'll love it.
Selasa, 18 Agustus 2009
secret
Possibly the most important quality or skill you need to
succeed at anything in life, whether it be getting in
shape, excelling in your job, beating an illness or just
plain being happy is a dogged commitment to doing it.
Ninety five percent of the time, people don't reach their
aims because their resolve to get there was never very
strong to begin with.
If you don't believe you'll get to your destination, how
much effort will you ever be willing to put in? I mean, if
you want to lose 20 pounds or 200 pounds and you've "tried"
dozens of times only to ultimately quit trying, then what
kind of effort will you be likely to put in this time?
Right. Not much.
The secret is your belief and your commitment.
How many times have you had some outcome that was an
absolute must. You simply HAD TO GET IT DONE. The
consequences of failing would be too great. At least in
your mind, they were great. So...
You got it done! You worked all night. You rallied the
troops. Your whole being was into it. There was simply no
turning back. Failure was not an option...
And you succeeded.
Tell me, during those times when you rose to the
challenge, was there much doubt about the ultimate outcome?
Probably not, huh? You just knew that success was
imminent, didn't you? Well, that's what happens when
you're totally committed to a goal...
...AND when you're clear on exactly what you want.
To succeed at anything, keep your inner voice positive.
Tell yourself you can... constantly. Every hour. At
critical moments of decision.
Talking about belief and resolve: You've no doubt all
heard the stories about people who exhibited amazing feats
of superhuman strength and picked up a vehicle just enough
to help rescue another person pinned underneath.
And what about those tireless rescue workers who simply
won't let themselves stop until they find one more
survivor. They have their outcome set and they're doing
everything to achieve it.
Now, in our everyday lives, that kind of schedule is
usually not required and definitely not healthy, but the
principle is the same. Keep your eyes on the goal. Every
minute. Every hour.
If you do, then you won't be wasting precious time on non-
essential tasks. You'll keep yourself from feeling the
agony of failure. Because if your resolve is strong, when
you do meet those temporary setbacks, you'll see them as
that...temporary.
When your determination is weak, each setback looks like
the end.
So look at your next project, and the one after that, and
even the one after that, and start talking yourself into
doing what you must. Tell yourself that you're up to it.
Make it a must.
Do that and I know I'll be hearing from you with one heck
of a success story.
succeed at anything in life, whether it be getting in
shape, excelling in your job, beating an illness or just
plain being happy is a dogged commitment to doing it.
Ninety five percent of the time, people don't reach their
aims because their resolve to get there was never very
strong to begin with.
If you don't believe you'll get to your destination, how
much effort will you ever be willing to put in? I mean, if
you want to lose 20 pounds or 200 pounds and you've "tried"
dozens of times only to ultimately quit trying, then what
kind of effort will you be likely to put in this time?
Right. Not much.
The secret is your belief and your commitment.
How many times have you had some outcome that was an
absolute must. You simply HAD TO GET IT DONE. The
consequences of failing would be too great. At least in
your mind, they were great. So...
You got it done! You worked all night. You rallied the
troops. Your whole being was into it. There was simply no
turning back. Failure was not an option...
And you succeeded.
Tell me, during those times when you rose to the
challenge, was there much doubt about the ultimate outcome?
Probably not, huh? You just knew that success was
imminent, didn't you? Well, that's what happens when
you're totally committed to a goal...
...AND when you're clear on exactly what you want.
To succeed at anything, keep your inner voice positive.
Tell yourself you can... constantly. Every hour. At
critical moments of decision.
Talking about belief and resolve: You've no doubt all
heard the stories about people who exhibited amazing feats
of superhuman strength and picked up a vehicle just enough
to help rescue another person pinned underneath.
And what about those tireless rescue workers who simply
won't let themselves stop until they find one more
survivor. They have their outcome set and they're doing
everything to achieve it.
Now, in our everyday lives, that kind of schedule is
usually not required and definitely not healthy, but the
principle is the same. Keep your eyes on the goal. Every
minute. Every hour.
If you do, then you won't be wasting precious time on non-
essential tasks. You'll keep yourself from feeling the
agony of failure. Because if your resolve is strong, when
you do meet those temporary setbacks, you'll see them as
that...temporary.
When your determination is weak, each setback looks like
the end.
So look at your next project, and the one after that, and
even the one after that, and start talking yourself into
doing what you must. Tell yourself that you're up to it.
Make it a must.
Do that and I know I'll be hearing from you with one heck
of a success story.
Sabtu, 15 Agustus 2009
The great thinking
The lack of patience is ruining the world right now.
Instant gratification is not a reality. It's... an
illusion.
You aren't going to be more popular by owning a particular
pair of sneakers and you're not going to win the lot-tery.
Do you personally know anyone who's ever won more than
$2,000 in any of those government-run scams? If you do,
they've put it all back into it and more... guaranteed.
The only thing you can truly count on is if you think the
same kinds of thoughts as people who do what you want to
do, then you'll take the same kinds of actions. If you do
that, you'll get the same results...
...if you give it time and don't give up.
Perfect example: "I've tried everything and I can't lose
this weight."
Sure, tried everything... for a few days. And if you
didn't lose 10 pounds in the first two or three days, you
quit.
And what's even worse, those who do lose weight
successfully usually "forget" what it was that got them
there. Then they slowly get back into the old habits
within a week or, at most, a few months. So they "blossom"
once again... and say, "I tried everything. Nothing works
for me."
Am I talking about you?
Look you're not going to be the president of your company
within the first year. Yes, it's true the company you work
for doesn't always make the best decisions. But you've got
to play the game and earn your promotions and higher
salary. It's not always going to be fair.
Patience, my friend...
And persistence.
Life is not as short as it seems. You can't live tomorrow
before today. You can only prepare for it.
You've got a lot to learn and plenty of time to learn
it...if you look at today as valuable and get off your butt
and learn your lessons well.
Don't be so fast to get ticked off at people that don't
agree with you. Learn how to persuade instead. Ask
questions. Get inside people's heads. Only then can you
direct them... and yourself to where YOU want to go.
Success comes in increments.
Remember the Internet boom where investment in dot-coms
was all the rage? It was raining money.
I remember it too. I was the VP of Sales for a big dot-com.
That company doesn't exist any more.
Lack of patience and... unrealistic timetables.
Investment firms forgot that it takes profits to keep
companies stable, not ludicrous stock valuations.
For whatever goals you're working towards now (you better
have some!), put a completion date on them. If that's what
the date must be then commit to it. But if the date is
soft, figure it's going to take longer.
What is the percentage of jobs you start that get done
when you thought they would when you started? Hardly any?
But what's probably closer to the truth is that most truly
meaningful goals are NEVER reached.
How come?
Typically it's because when the lust for instant
gratification isn't satisfied, we pack our bags and we
forget all about it.
The sad truth is that very few people value earning their
success. Most just want it tossed into their laps. We
want to be rich. We want to be popular. We want to get
straight A's. Cool. Then learn from people who've
attained long term success in that area, and do what they
do.
There's no other way.
Bang your head against the wall. Splash cold water in
your face. Do anything that will wake you up to this truth.
Any success takes effort... sustained effort.
But if you still insist on playing instant LOT~TO, keep
this in mind. Over 90% of those big jack`pot winners lose
all of it.
Rags to riches and back to rags.
Nine out of every ten.
Why? Because they didn't earn it. They never learned how
to handle money. They thought money was the goal.
Keep in mind that it's who you become in life that
matters, not what you get. If you become more, you'll get
more...
And you'll be many times more likely to keep it.
Instant gratification is not a reality. It's... an
illusion.
You aren't going to be more popular by owning a particular
pair of sneakers and you're not going to win the lot-tery.
Do you personally know anyone who's ever won more than
$2,000 in any of those government-run scams? If you do,
they've put it all back into it and more... guaranteed.
The only thing you can truly count on is if you think the
same kinds of thoughts as people who do what you want to
do, then you'll take the same kinds of actions. If you do
that, you'll get the same results...
...if you give it time and don't give up.
Perfect example: "I've tried everything and I can't lose
this weight."
Sure, tried everything... for a few days. And if you
didn't lose 10 pounds in the first two or three days, you
quit.
And what's even worse, those who do lose weight
successfully usually "forget" what it was that got them
there. Then they slowly get back into the old habits
within a week or, at most, a few months. So they "blossom"
once again... and say, "I tried everything. Nothing works
for me."
Am I talking about you?
Look you're not going to be the president of your company
within the first year. Yes, it's true the company you work
for doesn't always make the best decisions. But you've got
to play the game and earn your promotions and higher
salary. It's not always going to be fair.
Patience, my friend...
And persistence.
Life is not as short as it seems. You can't live tomorrow
before today. You can only prepare for it.
You've got a lot to learn and plenty of time to learn
it...if you look at today as valuable and get off your butt
and learn your lessons well.
Don't be so fast to get ticked off at people that don't
agree with you. Learn how to persuade instead. Ask
questions. Get inside people's heads. Only then can you
direct them... and yourself to where YOU want to go.
Success comes in increments.
Remember the Internet boom where investment in dot-coms
was all the rage? It was raining money.
I remember it too. I was the VP of Sales for a big dot-com.
That company doesn't exist any more.
Lack of patience and... unrealistic timetables.
Investment firms forgot that it takes profits to keep
companies stable, not ludicrous stock valuations.
For whatever goals you're working towards now (you better
have some!), put a completion date on them. If that's what
the date must be then commit to it. But if the date is
soft, figure it's going to take longer.
What is the percentage of jobs you start that get done
when you thought they would when you started? Hardly any?
But what's probably closer to the truth is that most truly
meaningful goals are NEVER reached.
How come?
Typically it's because when the lust for instant
gratification isn't satisfied, we pack our bags and we
forget all about it.
The sad truth is that very few people value earning their
success. Most just want it tossed into their laps. We
want to be rich. We want to be popular. We want to get
straight A's. Cool. Then learn from people who've
attained long term success in that area, and do what they
do.
There's no other way.
Bang your head against the wall. Splash cold water in
your face. Do anything that will wake you up to this truth.
Any success takes effort... sustained effort.
But if you still insist on playing instant LOT~TO, keep
this in mind. Over 90% of those big jack`pot winners lose
all of it.
Rags to riches and back to rags.
Nine out of every ten.
Why? Because they didn't earn it. They never learned how
to handle money. They thought money was the goal.
Keep in mind that it's who you become in life that
matters, not what you get. If you become more, you'll get
more...
And you'll be many times more likely to keep it.
Go From Feeling Afraid, Hesitant Or Miserable To Confident, Determined & Happy
An automobile manufacturer ran ads some months ago that
focused on the fact that their car had the same features as
another manufacturer's car that cost about $30,000 more.
The point of the ad was, of course, that nobody really
NEEDS a luxury automobile. They want them... for THEIR own
reasons. And car companies know this.
We all have our own specific wants. We want to be
understood... to be heard. We want to believe we matter.
Even people who don't do a stinking thing for another
living soul have these desires.
So if you're in a profession where you have to lead others
to your way of thinking or you're teaching others, you need
to enter their minds. You must know where a person stands
on an issue before you can direct them to the proper
decision for them. You must learn about their needs or
what their knowledge is about a specific subject before you
can teach them anything.
In my sales career, I failed for a few YEARS because I
just rattled my canned speech off, never really listening
to what the other person was saying.
As a result, I went from brick and mortar to a one-room
home that got 13 miles to the gallon. Not using your ears
has consequences... for everyone.
OK, now. Let's play a game...
You have to give a gift to someone you've never met. You
don't know their gender or even their nationality. If they
like your gift, you get a million dollars. If they don't
like it, you get your head blown off.
Feel a little pressure?
Okay. Game's changed. The person you must buy the gift
for is your best friend in the world. You know everything
about them. Same terms... Either a million dollars or you
swim with the fishes.
Feels a little different doesn't it?
So how in the world can you get your point across to
others when you don't know what their viewpoint is, what
matters to them or what makes them tick?
In the hearing field, I found there were many different
reasons that people had for wanting to improve their
hearing. They may want to be a safer driver, have
conversations in a car, hear the TV better, hear the phone
ring, hear better on the phone, hear in crowds. The list
is endless.
And there were just as many reasons why someone wanted to
hold off. Too much money, cheaper somewhere else, never
heard of us, only needs to hear in crowds, vanity. Equally
long list.
How can you convince someone they need to hear better in
crowds when they're only in a big group once every 4 months
or so? Can't do it. I had to find out why THEY wanted to
hear well. I was able to get so good at getting inside
their heads that about 95% of my prospects chose me as
their hearing instrument provider. Our industry average
was about 25%...
All by asking questions thoughtfully and truly listening
to the answers.
This doesn't only exist in selling products. This is
every day life.
Do this...
Starting today, listen to conversations other people are
having. Listen to your own. Notice whether or not you or
others just jump in and try to convince people of things
before first finding out their opinion or position. If so,
you'll hear hesitation, doubt and rejection. If you pay
close enough attention, you'll observe all of those.
We all do things for our own reasons, not for the reasons
suggested by overzealous people as they tell us about vague
"benefits" that aren't even important to us.
When I stopped reciting my memorized lists of features and
benefits and started asking questions and began
purposefully listening to the answers, I began helping many
people to join the world of the hearing. My income
skyrocketed, and I noticed that I learned something
interesting and valuable from practically everyone I met.
If you can seek first to understand other people and what
motivates them in every situation, you will be able to
teach them, to lead them to the best decisions, and quite
often to your way of thinking.
focused on the fact that their car had the same features as
another manufacturer's car that cost about $30,000 more.
The point of the ad was, of course, that nobody really
NEEDS a luxury automobile. They want them... for THEIR own
reasons. And car companies know this.
We all have our own specific wants. We want to be
understood... to be heard. We want to believe we matter.
Even people who don't do a stinking thing for another
living soul have these desires.
So if you're in a profession where you have to lead others
to your way of thinking or you're teaching others, you need
to enter their minds. You must know where a person stands
on an issue before you can direct them to the proper
decision for them. You must learn about their needs or
what their knowledge is about a specific subject before you
can teach them anything.
In my sales career, I failed for a few YEARS because I
just rattled my canned speech off, never really listening
to what the other person was saying.
As a result, I went from brick and mortar to a one-room
home that got 13 miles to the gallon. Not using your ears
has consequences... for everyone.
OK, now. Let's play a game...
You have to give a gift to someone you've never met. You
don't know their gender or even their nationality. If they
like your gift, you get a million dollars. If they don't
like it, you get your head blown off.
Feel a little pressure?
Okay. Game's changed. The person you must buy the gift
for is your best friend in the world. You know everything
about them. Same terms... Either a million dollars or you
swim with the fishes.
Feels a little different doesn't it?
So how in the world can you get your point across to
others when you don't know what their viewpoint is, what
matters to them or what makes them tick?
In the hearing field, I found there were many different
reasons that people had for wanting to improve their
hearing. They may want to be a safer driver, have
conversations in a car, hear the TV better, hear the phone
ring, hear better on the phone, hear in crowds. The list
is endless.
And there were just as many reasons why someone wanted to
hold off. Too much money, cheaper somewhere else, never
heard of us, only needs to hear in crowds, vanity. Equally
long list.
How can you convince someone they need to hear better in
crowds when they're only in a big group once every 4 months
or so? Can't do it. I had to find out why THEY wanted to
hear well. I was able to get so good at getting inside
their heads that about 95% of my prospects chose me as
their hearing instrument provider. Our industry average
was about 25%...
All by asking questions thoughtfully and truly listening
to the answers.
This doesn't only exist in selling products. This is
every day life.
Do this...
Starting today, listen to conversations other people are
having. Listen to your own. Notice whether or not you or
others just jump in and try to convince people of things
before first finding out their opinion or position. If so,
you'll hear hesitation, doubt and rejection. If you pay
close enough attention, you'll observe all of those.
We all do things for our own reasons, not for the reasons
suggested by overzealous people as they tell us about vague
"benefits" that aren't even important to us.
When I stopped reciting my memorized lists of features and
benefits and started asking questions and began
purposefully listening to the answers, I began helping many
people to join the world of the hearing. My income
skyrocketed, and I noticed that I learned something
interesting and valuable from practically everyone I met.
If you can seek first to understand other people and what
motivates them in every situation, you will be able to
teach them, to lead them to the best decisions, and quite
often to your way of thinking.
Minggu, 09 Agustus 2009
Go From Feeling Afraid, Hesitant Or Miserable To Confident, Determined & Happy - In An Instant!
My parents were recently up north visiting from their home
in Florida.
On their last night here, they stayed at my uncle's camp.
So I drove an hour and a half into the mountains to see
them one more time before they left.
Just as I was pulling into the little "one horse town" of
Sherburne, I noticed that I was getting very low on gas,
but I told myself that I'd be able to get some gas on the
way back home.
Well, it was nearly 7 o'clock when I arrived, and we were
having such a good time, that it was 1:30 in the morning
before we knew it.
When I started the vehicle, the gauge was reading even
lower than it did when I pulled in. I felt lucky that the
camp was higher in elevation than the town, so I did a lot
of coasting in neutral. Boy, was I happy to see the
traffic light in town. A quick right and I'd be filling
up...
But the gas station was closed.
Oh no.
I was running on fumes, and nothing was open - not even a
bar!
Four miles to Earlville!? Uh. I'll never make it.
But with no choice, it was north to Earlville... at forty
miles an hour to conserve gas. Man, it seemed all uphill!
Where were the downhill areas?
Finally, mercifully I made it to Earlville... only to find
that their gas station was closed, too.
I was sunk. What to do? What to do?
I was remembering the time twenty two years ago, when I
used my mom's car and didn't put any gas in it before
coming home. She ripped me a new one as she told me how
she coasted into the gas station after the engine died.
I'm not going to be so lucky this time.
Keep going north...
Oh, if I get out of this, I'll never let it get below a
quarter tank again. I swear.
Twelve minutes and seven a-g-o-n-i-z-i-n-g miles later, I
see Colgate University. Oh, thank God. There is no way
that the gas station will be closed, not in a college town
like Hamilton. Now if I can just make it to the gas
station.
There it is!!
And the lights are on. Hooray!! Yippee!!
Oh. Thank you, God in Heaven. And yes, I coasted in, in
neutral, just to make sure I made it all the way.
During the rest of the trip home, I felt lucky to have
been given this lesson. Partly because I didn't lose
anything in the process of learning... many lessons involve
lots of pain. And mostly because it was a lesson that will
most certainly serve me well in the weeks, months and years
to come.
You don't put off things that should be done now.
I should have assumed that the mini-market would close. I
didn't need to put it off. And I should have paid
attention to the clock.
As I was praying for an open gas station, I was
"shoulding" all over myself, and the good part was, I was
listening.
It was my fault.
And the lesson was learned... again.
And in taking complete responsibility instead of cursing
the store, I will have once again set a course in motion...
to be paying attention to situations where my decisions
affect outcomes.
No, you can't always plan for everything. And no,
nobody's perfect.
But you can be intelligent. Stupidity is no excuse.
Ignorance is definitely not bliss. It's loss. Pain.
Possibly death.
Michael Landon was best known for his starring roles in
Bonanza, Little House on the Prairie, and Highway to
Heaven. He lived hard, worked hard, partied hard and put
off eating healthy.
I'll never forget his final appearance with Johnny
Carson's Tonight Show in 1991. He said that he had
pancreatic cancer. For people not in the know, this is one
of the most deadly cancers. Most people don't survive
longer than a few months after diagnosis.
His wife had been pushing him to adopt a more vegetarian
lifestyle for years. But he just put it off. There was
always time to start eating right... right?
Not long before his Tonight Show appearance, in constant
agony, facing death, he finally gave into her pressure.
And he told Johnny that the pain from the cancer was out of
this world. Simply terrible.
But, he said, from the day he started exclusively drinking
the vegetable juices his wife prepared for him, the pain
stopped completely. Just like that. So understandably, he
was in good spirits on the show.
Unfortunately, it was too late.
The cancer had progressed too far - his body was too toxic
for the pure, cleansing food to save him.
So the message today is this, whatever is pressing,
whatever job has to be done or situation needs to be
attended to, do it now.
Sounds simple right?
Well, it is.
Pull out your copy of First Things First - get your
planner out - look at what is important in your life... and
attend to it.
And you'll find that when you finally start paying
attention to the big things, the important stuff, the
important people, you'll feel... well, it's hard to put
into words.
At worst it reduces the frequency of angry fights with
others over your "forgetting" things. People WILL notice
the difference in you.
And at best, you'll be setting in motion a habit that
could transport you to the top of your profession. It can
make you admired and respected by everyone you know. It
can give you a peace of mind that few enjoy.
Ask constantly, "What COULD happen if I put this off?"
Join the few. It's not lonely there.
(sumber : www.todayisyourdaytowin.com)
in Florida.
On their last night here, they stayed at my uncle's camp.
So I drove an hour and a half into the mountains to see
them one more time before they left.
Just as I was pulling into the little "one horse town" of
Sherburne, I noticed that I was getting very low on gas,
but I told myself that I'd be able to get some gas on the
way back home.
Well, it was nearly 7 o'clock when I arrived, and we were
having such a good time, that it was 1:30 in the morning
before we knew it.
When I started the vehicle, the gauge was reading even
lower than it did when I pulled in. I felt lucky that the
camp was higher in elevation than the town, so I did a lot
of coasting in neutral. Boy, was I happy to see the
traffic light in town. A quick right and I'd be filling
up...
But the gas station was closed.
Oh no.
I was running on fumes, and nothing was open - not even a
bar!
Four miles to Earlville!? Uh. I'll never make it.
But with no choice, it was north to Earlville... at forty
miles an hour to conserve gas. Man, it seemed all uphill!
Where were the downhill areas?
Finally, mercifully I made it to Earlville... only to find
that their gas station was closed, too.
I was sunk. What to do? What to do?
I was remembering the time twenty two years ago, when I
used my mom's car and didn't put any gas in it before
coming home. She ripped me a new one as she told me how
she coasted into the gas station after the engine died.
I'm not going to be so lucky this time.
Keep going north...
Oh, if I get out of this, I'll never let it get below a
quarter tank again. I swear.
Twelve minutes and seven a-g-o-n-i-z-i-n-g miles later, I
see Colgate University. Oh, thank God. There is no way
that the gas station will be closed, not in a college town
like Hamilton. Now if I can just make it to the gas
station.
There it is!!
And the lights are on. Hooray!! Yippee!!
Oh. Thank you, God in Heaven. And yes, I coasted in, in
neutral, just to make sure I made it all the way.
During the rest of the trip home, I felt lucky to have
been given this lesson. Partly because I didn't lose
anything in the process of learning... many lessons involve
lots of pain. And mostly because it was a lesson that will
most certainly serve me well in the weeks, months and years
to come.
You don't put off things that should be done now.
I should have assumed that the mini-market would close. I
didn't need to put it off. And I should have paid
attention to the clock.
As I was praying for an open gas station, I was
"shoulding" all over myself, and the good part was, I was
listening.
It was my fault.
And the lesson was learned... again.
And in taking complete responsibility instead of cursing
the store, I will have once again set a course in motion...
to be paying attention to situations where my decisions
affect outcomes.
No, you can't always plan for everything. And no,
nobody's perfect.
But you can be intelligent. Stupidity is no excuse.
Ignorance is definitely not bliss. It's loss. Pain.
Possibly death.
Michael Landon was best known for his starring roles in
Bonanza, Little House on the Prairie, and Highway to
Heaven. He lived hard, worked hard, partied hard and put
off eating healthy.
I'll never forget his final appearance with Johnny
Carson's Tonight Show in 1991. He said that he had
pancreatic cancer. For people not in the know, this is one
of the most deadly cancers. Most people don't survive
longer than a few months after diagnosis.
His wife had been pushing him to adopt a more vegetarian
lifestyle for years. But he just put it off. There was
always time to start eating right... right?
Not long before his Tonight Show appearance, in constant
agony, facing death, he finally gave into her pressure.
And he told Johnny that the pain from the cancer was out of
this world. Simply terrible.
But, he said, from the day he started exclusively drinking
the vegetable juices his wife prepared for him, the pain
stopped completely. Just like that. So understandably, he
was in good spirits on the show.
Unfortunately, it was too late.
The cancer had progressed too far - his body was too toxic
for the pure, cleansing food to save him.
So the message today is this, whatever is pressing,
whatever job has to be done or situation needs to be
attended to, do it now.
Sounds simple right?
Well, it is.
Pull out your copy of First Things First - get your
planner out - look at what is important in your life... and
attend to it.
And you'll find that when you finally start paying
attention to the big things, the important stuff, the
important people, you'll feel... well, it's hard to put
into words.
At worst it reduces the frequency of angry fights with
others over your "forgetting" things. People WILL notice
the difference in you.
And at best, you'll be setting in motion a habit that
could transport you to the top of your profession. It can
make you admired and respected by everyone you know. It
can give you a peace of mind that few enjoy.
Ask constantly, "What COULD happen if I put this off?"
Join the few. It's not lonely there.
(sumber : www.todayisyourdaytowin.com)
emotion controller
I guess I better start right out by explaining the word
'Anger' as we'll be using it. By anger, I mean that you
see something or something happens and it spurs in you a
burning, all-encompassing desire to fix the problem.
The problem with most people is that they get angry at
other people for taking advantage of their weaknesses.
"You took my boyfriend." Hey, if your relationship was
good, there wouldn't be a problem. The blame rests with
you and/or your boyfriend, not anyone else.
A few years ago, I met Rudy Ruettiger. The movie 'Rudy'
is based on his life. He told me that the thing that kept
him going in the face of every adversity you can imagine
was anger...
Anger at everyone that told him playing football for Notre
Dame was crazy; for everyone that told him that he wasn't
cut out for college; that he ought to work in the factory
because it was safe; that he ought to forget his stupid
dream.
The nay sayers motivated him. It made him angry when
people knocked his dream.
If you've never seen the movie, I would recommend that you
buy it and wear it out. And if you don't have any tissues,
get some before you hit "play."
What do most people do when others rain on their parade?
What do you do?
Inside, you probably laugh right along and say something
like, "Yeah, it is kind of silly. That IS a little out of
my league."
Why not get angry and do something about it, instead.
Show them you can reach your dream.
Few people like to stand out. To be seen as different.
Well, anger is really just another way of describing one
of the first elements that go into making a personal
mission statement. I mean after all, what would a mission
be if you weren't completely behind it emotionally? It
wouldn't be a mission. It would be just a wish. And
wishes don't usually come true.
Missions, though, usually ensure that dreams become
realized.
But when you've got a mission, it sets your whole being
into motion.
Great missions come about often when you just can't stand
the way something is and you feel like you must change it.
"MADD" (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) came about because
of anger. "America's Most Wanted" came about because of
anger.
So many breakthroughs and achievements would never have
happened unless someone got mad and said "I'm not going to
take it any more!"
I did that years ago and went looking for tools to change
the way I thought. It took a while, but I found them and
altered them to create a technology that ultimately changed
who I am and changed the lives of thousands around the
world... all because of massive pain and dissatisfaction.
Here's what I want you to do...
Find something in your life that you're dissatisfied with
and get yourself worked up. Ask yourself what your life
will be like if this doesn't change. Feel the pain. Get
angry. Don't blame others in this mental exercise. You're
responsible for your own circumstances. Get that straight.
Feel the pain now. Compare those feelings to the feelings
you'd have if you were just to fix the situation now. No
matter what kind of effort it would take to fix. It might
take years for you to get things the way you want them.
But compare the two futures. Get angry at the first
future. Get scared. And get determined not to end up
there.
Make it a must. You must change it. Feel it. If you've
got to cry and scream and pound your fists, fine...if
that's what it takes.
Look now at the better future you saw. How big is the
gap? Would it be worth any effort that it might take? I
think you'll find that it probably is.
Without dissatisfaction, and often anger, it's verrrry
difficult to get and stay motivated. You must keep your
dissatisfaction in your mind daily.
Use it as fuel for your motivation.
As long as you continue to take personal responsibility
for your life, this can work miracles.
But as long as you keep blaming others for your problems,
you'll continue to have them.
Get dissatisfied. It will help you feel courageous, even
if last week you were hiding out.
'Anger' as we'll be using it. By anger, I mean that you
see something or something happens and it spurs in you a
burning, all-encompassing desire to fix the problem.
The problem with most people is that they get angry at
other people for taking advantage of their weaknesses.
"You took my boyfriend." Hey, if your relationship was
good, there wouldn't be a problem. The blame rests with
you and/or your boyfriend, not anyone else.
A few years ago, I met Rudy Ruettiger. The movie 'Rudy'
is based on his life. He told me that the thing that kept
him going in the face of every adversity you can imagine
was anger...
Anger at everyone that told him playing football for Notre
Dame was crazy; for everyone that told him that he wasn't
cut out for college; that he ought to work in the factory
because it was safe; that he ought to forget his stupid
dream.
The nay sayers motivated him. It made him angry when
people knocked his dream.
If you've never seen the movie, I would recommend that you
buy it and wear it out. And if you don't have any tissues,
get some before you hit "play."
What do most people do when others rain on their parade?
What do you do?
Inside, you probably laugh right along and say something
like, "Yeah, it is kind of silly. That IS a little out of
my league."
Why not get angry and do something about it, instead.
Show them you can reach your dream.
Few people like to stand out. To be seen as different.
Well, anger is really just another way of describing one
of the first elements that go into making a personal
mission statement. I mean after all, what would a mission
be if you weren't completely behind it emotionally? It
wouldn't be a mission. It would be just a wish. And
wishes don't usually come true.
Missions, though, usually ensure that dreams become
realized.
But when you've got a mission, it sets your whole being
into motion.
Great missions come about often when you just can't stand
the way something is and you feel like you must change it.
"MADD" (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) came about because
of anger. "America's Most Wanted" came about because of
anger.
So many breakthroughs and achievements would never have
happened unless someone got mad and said "I'm not going to
take it any more!"
I did that years ago and went looking for tools to change
the way I thought. It took a while, but I found them and
altered them to create a technology that ultimately changed
who I am and changed the lives of thousands around the
world... all because of massive pain and dissatisfaction.
Here's what I want you to do...
Find something in your life that you're dissatisfied with
and get yourself worked up. Ask yourself what your life
will be like if this doesn't change. Feel the pain. Get
angry. Don't blame others in this mental exercise. You're
responsible for your own circumstances. Get that straight.
Feel the pain now. Compare those feelings to the feelings
you'd have if you were just to fix the situation now. No
matter what kind of effort it would take to fix. It might
take years for you to get things the way you want them.
But compare the two futures. Get angry at the first
future. Get scared. And get determined not to end up
there.
Make it a must. You must change it. Feel it. If you've
got to cry and scream and pound your fists, fine...if
that's what it takes.
Look now at the better future you saw. How big is the
gap? Would it be worth any effort that it might take? I
think you'll find that it probably is.
Without dissatisfaction, and often anger, it's verrrry
difficult to get and stay motivated. You must keep your
dissatisfaction in your mind daily.
Use it as fuel for your motivation.
As long as you continue to take personal responsibility
for your life, this can work miracles.
But as long as you keep blaming others for your problems,
you'll continue to have them.
Get dissatisfied. It will help you feel courageous, even
if last week you were hiding out.
mood is very good
No doubt, you have plenty of times that you can recall
where you did something very well. You felt good. Your
mood was positive. Your focus was on the task or
game...and you were ON.
You said the right things. You hit the ball, made the
shots, ran like the wind. Mistakes, if they happened at
all, were brushed off and forgotten about. You were
definitely in the ZONE and wanted the day to go on forever.
But it didn't...
The next day wasn't quite as good, possibly. And within a
day or two or six, things were back to normal... average.
Not good, not bad. Just vanilla.
Is this you?
If not, then congratulations. But even life's top
performers don't regularly pull rabbits out of the hat in
every area of their lives. It's too common for many people
to be miracle workers at home or at work, but miserable
failures at just about everything else.
Too often, in the area that works, it's more a factor of
doing that one thing for so long that you get proficient at
it. Repetition over the years has worn the grooves of
mastery.
It happened over time, almost without your awareness. It
just came because you did the same thing again and again.
Through all your mistakes you learned how to get things
done fast and easy.
It's too bad you didn't have a course to teach you how to
get these same results in everything you do, no matter what
it is... training that could help you regularly have this
incredible feeling that nothing was above your capability.
But thoughts just kind of pop in and that's the way it's
supposed to work, right? 'How could I control my
thoughts?' you think. 'They just pop in. I feel a certain
way because that's just who I am,' you say.
Wrong...
We get our beliefs if they SEEM accurate. A few mistakes
and BOOM! We define ourselves as not good at something. It
seems to make sense. If other people confirm our
suspicions, then it must be true. Someone does something
we don't like or doesn't look right and BOOM! we make
instant judgments about them without a second's thought.
If the first bite doesn't taste familiar, WHAM! Don't like
it.
Most people get a belief about a thing and stay with that
belief forever, whether it's true or not.
Where that can be the most detrimental is when it's a
limiting belief about yourself and your worth.
Just because you made a particular mistake a number of
times doesn't mean that you'll never be good at something.
Your mind doesn't have to be on autopilot. Thoughts don't
have to just pop into your head. You can control your
thoughts. And when you do start to take control of your
mind, your emotions and actions can be similar to the
greatest successes the world has ever known.
When I took the Silva Mind Method training course in the
early 90's, I would get into my "alpha state" and repeat,
over and over, statements that affirmed my success and
ability. I told myself that there wasn't anything I
couldn't do. I took all my limiting beliefs and put them
on a mental screen and wiped them off one at a time.
Gone. Adios. Arrivederci. Au revoir.
Any belief that didn't support my new goals got cleaned
away. And positive affirmations re-patterned new beliefs
of ability, self-worth and confidence.
Keep in mind, I did this regularly. And I still do.
After all, your mind is thinking constantly. And it's
impossible to tell yourself that you're a genius once and
have it stick. Not when you follow it up with a very human
mistake an hour later, and the first thing you're tempted
to think is, 'See, I knew I was fooling myself! I am a
dunce!'
Your current beliefs took time to take root and the new
ones will also take time. Think of your mind as a field.
You're planting seeds now. The new shoots will come up and
produce fruit, but you've got to water and fertilize them.
You've got to pull the weeds out constantly.
But what you'll have for your effort is some of the
sweetest, juiciest crops of empowering and TRUE beliefs you
could ever have. With these new beliefs will come powerful
emotions and determination that will astound you. Sweet
Success!
And the nice thing is, your new beliefs are always in
season!
where you did something very well. You felt good. Your
mood was positive. Your focus was on the task or
game...and you were ON.
You said the right things. You hit the ball, made the
shots, ran like the wind. Mistakes, if they happened at
all, were brushed off and forgotten about. You were
definitely in the ZONE and wanted the day to go on forever.
But it didn't...
The next day wasn't quite as good, possibly. And within a
day or two or six, things were back to normal... average.
Not good, not bad. Just vanilla.
Is this you?
If not, then congratulations. But even life's top
performers don't regularly pull rabbits out of the hat in
every area of their lives. It's too common for many people
to be miracle workers at home or at work, but miserable
failures at just about everything else.
Too often, in the area that works, it's more a factor of
doing that one thing for so long that you get proficient at
it. Repetition over the years has worn the grooves of
mastery.
It happened over time, almost without your awareness. It
just came because you did the same thing again and again.
Through all your mistakes you learned how to get things
done fast and easy.
It's too bad you didn't have a course to teach you how to
get these same results in everything you do, no matter what
it is... training that could help you regularly have this
incredible feeling that nothing was above your capability.
But thoughts just kind of pop in and that's the way it's
supposed to work, right? 'How could I control my
thoughts?' you think. 'They just pop in. I feel a certain
way because that's just who I am,' you say.
Wrong...
We get our beliefs if they SEEM accurate. A few mistakes
and BOOM! We define ourselves as not good at something. It
seems to make sense. If other people confirm our
suspicions, then it must be true. Someone does something
we don't like or doesn't look right and BOOM! we make
instant judgments about them without a second's thought.
If the first bite doesn't taste familiar, WHAM! Don't like
it.
Most people get a belief about a thing and stay with that
belief forever, whether it's true or not.
Where that can be the most detrimental is when it's a
limiting belief about yourself and your worth.
Just because you made a particular mistake a number of
times doesn't mean that you'll never be good at something.
Your mind doesn't have to be on autopilot. Thoughts don't
have to just pop into your head. You can control your
thoughts. And when you do start to take control of your
mind, your emotions and actions can be similar to the
greatest successes the world has ever known.
When I took the Silva Mind Method training course in the
early 90's, I would get into my "alpha state" and repeat,
over and over, statements that affirmed my success and
ability. I told myself that there wasn't anything I
couldn't do. I took all my limiting beliefs and put them
on a mental screen and wiped them off one at a time.
Gone. Adios. Arrivederci. Au revoir.
Any belief that didn't support my new goals got cleaned
away. And positive affirmations re-patterned new beliefs
of ability, self-worth and confidence.
Keep in mind, I did this regularly. And I still do.
After all, your mind is thinking constantly. And it's
impossible to tell yourself that you're a genius once and
have it stick. Not when you follow it up with a very human
mistake an hour later, and the first thing you're tempted
to think is, 'See, I knew I was fooling myself! I am a
dunce!'
Your current beliefs took time to take root and the new
ones will also take time. Think of your mind as a field.
You're planting seeds now. The new shoots will come up and
produce fruit, but you've got to water and fertilize them.
You've got to pull the weeds out constantly.
But what you'll have for your effort is some of the
sweetest, juiciest crops of empowering and TRUE beliefs you
could ever have. With these new beliefs will come powerful
emotions and determination that will astound you. Sweet
Success!
And the nice thing is, your new beliefs are always in
season!
Jumat, 07 Agustus 2009
Good Time
It's nearly impossible to be in a good mood all the time.
No question about it.
People who are don't get to move about without supervision.
But it IS possible to take just about anything that could
happen to you and USE it to feel good... happy, empowered,
strong.
A woman I know used to look at the fact that her now ex-
spouse did everything possible to sabotage her finishing
college, and felt upset whenever she thought about it. It
seemed to her that she would have been much farther along
in her career, she'd probably live in a much nicer home,
etc. if she had been able to finish college right after
high school.
This was a constant source of despair. She felt that if
she had not married him, her life would be so much better
today.
I told her that I didn't believe in that; that I feel that
there is a reason for everything... even though it often
doesn't seem that way.
If you examine your own life, I think you'll see that
those things that get you down often are, in truth, the
source of some of your greatest joys and may have set the
direction at some of the most important crossroads of your
life.
In her case, as a result of her being married, she had
moved to a different city, where she got a great job and
flourished in it. She made a lot of great friends whom she
loves deeply. She has a daughter that she wouldn't trade
for the world. Plus, the move to the new city made it
possible for her to ultimately meet and marry the man she
calls her soul mate.
So, none of the great parts of her life would exist if it
wasn't for her first marriage.
Although it wasn't the wisest thing to do at the time, it
was now ridiculous to beat herself up for succumbing to the
pressure her ex-husband applied all those years ago. I
helped her to realize that it's BECAUSE of her decision to
marry at a young age and not finish college immediately
that gave her all the things that she enjoys most about her
life.
She ultimately got her degree and joined the ranks of CPA,
just as she would have if she stayed in college to begin
with.
If she had done it differently, nothing that she holds so
dear today would be in her life. Kind of like the movie,
"It's A Wonderful Life," huh?
After I pointed that out, she realized that problems are
not problems at all.
Problems, as we call them, are situations that either
teach us to go forward more intelligently, or they're dead
ends. But they can only be dead ends if we decide they'll
be.
If we hold onto our old decisions, "bad" breaks, and
situations that didn't work out for us in the short run,
using them to remind us that we're just not meant to be
happy, that we're not good enough, that we'll never get
another chance...
...then that's exactly what our life's story will be.
Even when things are great, it's still possible to look
back with regret, isn't it? How does it make you feel when
you do that?
Like crap?
Then you just need perspective.
Look at all those situations that appear to have been
tragedies. See what they meant to you in terms of people
you met as a result. Career moves that worked out well.
How about family, health, location, attitude, schooling and
other learning? What about skills you now have that you
may not have acquired if your "problem" never happened?
Do this for every "problem" you ever had that you think or
even "know" stopped you or limited your life in some way.
I think... no, I know that you'll find otherwise.
There are no such things as problems.
Shakespeare said, "Nothing is either good or bad, but
thinking makes it so." You see, there are certain
indisputable principles of life, and this is one of them.
Just because you've managed to live for 20, 40 or even 80
years and this never occurred to you doesn't mean it's not
true.
There is nothing more true. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
Once you start to instantly "feel" deep inside you that
this thing that just happened to you is actually your next
gift, your next chance to grow, to gain peace of mind, to
finally understand that there IS such a thing as a problem-
free life...
...that's when you'll stop living with wild mood swings.
That is when you'll realize that you can reduce and even
get off your happy pills because your mental focus isn't on
problems any more. That's when you'll start doing things
that used to make you nervous and scared and you won't be
scared ay more.
When you accept the unwanted hurdles that pop up daily as
simply a part of your path and move over them like someone
who's on the way somewhere, then every day will go a lot
smoother and happier.
So do this...
Write down some rotten stuff that's happened to you in the
last year or so. Then look for the silver lining in each
one. Write down the good that came out of each one. If
you can't, then you're not looking with intention of
finding it... because it IS there.
Write them down and carry the list with you. Then, the
next time you find yourself in an irritated mood, pull out
your list and see what all your hurdles have actually done
for you.
I bet you'll smile.
And isn't that better than fuming? You'd better say yes!
No question about it.
People who are don't get to move about without supervision.
But it IS possible to take just about anything that could
happen to you and USE it to feel good... happy, empowered,
strong.
A woman I know used to look at the fact that her now ex-
spouse did everything possible to sabotage her finishing
college, and felt upset whenever she thought about it. It
seemed to her that she would have been much farther along
in her career, she'd probably live in a much nicer home,
etc. if she had been able to finish college right after
high school.
This was a constant source of despair. She felt that if
she had not married him, her life would be so much better
today.
I told her that I didn't believe in that; that I feel that
there is a reason for everything... even though it often
doesn't seem that way.
If you examine your own life, I think you'll see that
those things that get you down often are, in truth, the
source of some of your greatest joys and may have set the
direction at some of the most important crossroads of your
life.
In her case, as a result of her being married, she had
moved to a different city, where she got a great job and
flourished in it. She made a lot of great friends whom she
loves deeply. She has a daughter that she wouldn't trade
for the world. Plus, the move to the new city made it
possible for her to ultimately meet and marry the man she
calls her soul mate.
So, none of the great parts of her life would exist if it
wasn't for her first marriage.
Although it wasn't the wisest thing to do at the time, it
was now ridiculous to beat herself up for succumbing to the
pressure her ex-husband applied all those years ago. I
helped her to realize that it's BECAUSE of her decision to
marry at a young age and not finish college immediately
that gave her all the things that she enjoys most about her
life.
She ultimately got her degree and joined the ranks of CPA,
just as she would have if she stayed in college to begin
with.
If she had done it differently, nothing that she holds so
dear today would be in her life. Kind of like the movie,
"It's A Wonderful Life," huh?
After I pointed that out, she realized that problems are
not problems at all.
Problems, as we call them, are situations that either
teach us to go forward more intelligently, or they're dead
ends. But they can only be dead ends if we decide they'll
be.
If we hold onto our old decisions, "bad" breaks, and
situations that didn't work out for us in the short run,
using them to remind us that we're just not meant to be
happy, that we're not good enough, that we'll never get
another chance...
...then that's exactly what our life's story will be.
Even when things are great, it's still possible to look
back with regret, isn't it? How does it make you feel when
you do that?
Like crap?
Then you just need perspective.
Look at all those situations that appear to have been
tragedies. See what they meant to you in terms of people
you met as a result. Career moves that worked out well.
How about family, health, location, attitude, schooling and
other learning? What about skills you now have that you
may not have acquired if your "problem" never happened?
Do this for every "problem" you ever had that you think or
even "know" stopped you or limited your life in some way.
I think... no, I know that you'll find otherwise.
There are no such things as problems.
Shakespeare said, "Nothing is either good or bad, but
thinking makes it so." You see, there are certain
indisputable principles of life, and this is one of them.
Just because you've managed to live for 20, 40 or even 80
years and this never occurred to you doesn't mean it's not
true.
There is nothing more true. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
Once you start to instantly "feel" deep inside you that
this thing that just happened to you is actually your next
gift, your next chance to grow, to gain peace of mind, to
finally understand that there IS such a thing as a problem-
free life...
...that's when you'll stop living with wild mood swings.
That is when you'll realize that you can reduce and even
get off your happy pills because your mental focus isn't on
problems any more. That's when you'll start doing things
that used to make you nervous and scared and you won't be
scared ay more.
When you accept the unwanted hurdles that pop up daily as
simply a part of your path and move over them like someone
who's on the way somewhere, then every day will go a lot
smoother and happier.
So do this...
Write down some rotten stuff that's happened to you in the
last year or so. Then look for the silver lining in each
one. Write down the good that came out of each one. If
you can't, then you're not looking with intention of
finding it... because it IS there.
Write them down and carry the list with you. Then, the
next time you find yourself in an irritated mood, pull out
your list and see what all your hurdles have actually done
for you.
I bet you'll smile.
And isn't that better than fuming? You'd better say yes!
motivation today
It's nearly impossible to be in a good mood all the time.
No question about it.
People who are don't get to move about without supervision.
But it IS possible to take just about anything that could
happen to you and USE it to feel good... happy, empowered,
strong.
A woman I know used to look at the fact that her now ex-
spouse did everything possible to sabotage her finishing
college, and felt upset whenever she thought about it. It
seemed to her that she would have been much farther along
in her career, she'd probably live in a much nicer home,
etc. if she had been able to finish college right after
high school.
This was a constant source of despair. She felt that if
she had not married him, her life would be so much better
today.
I told her that I didn't believe in that; that I feel that
there is a reason for everything... even though it often
doesn't seem that way.
If you examine your own life, I think you'll see that
those things that get you down often are, in truth, the
source of some of your greatest joys and may have set the
direction at some of the most important crossroads of your
life.
In her case, as a result of her being married, she had
moved to a different city, where she got a great job and
flourished in it. She made a lot of great friends whom she
loves deeply. She has a daughter that she wouldn't trade
for the world. Plus, the move to the new city made it
possible for her to ultimately meet and marry the man she
calls her soul mate.
So, none of the great parts of her life would exist if it
wasn't for her first marriage.
Although it wasn't the wisest thing to do at the time, it
was now ridiculous to beat herself up for succumbing to the
pressure her ex-husband applied all those years ago. I
helped her to realize that it's BECAUSE of her decision to
marry at a young age and not finish college immediately
that gave her all the things that she enjoys most about her
life.
She ultimately got her degree and joined the ranks of CPA,
just as she would have if she stayed in college to begin
with.
If she had done it differently, nothing that she holds so
dear today would be in her life. Kind of like the movie,
"It's A Wonderful Life," huh?
After I pointed that out, she realized that problems are
not problems at all.
Problems, as we call them, are situations that either
teach us to go forward more intelligently, or they're dead
ends. But they can only be dead ends if we decide they'll
be.
If we hold onto our old decisions, "bad" breaks, and
situations that didn't work out for us in the short run,
using them to remind us that we're just not meant to be
happy, that we're not good enough, that we'll never get
another chance...
...then that's exactly what our life's story will be.
Even when things are great, it's still possible to look
back with regret, isn't it? How does it make you feel when
you do that?
Like crap?
Then you just need perspective.
Look at all those situations that appear to have been
tragedies. See what they meant to you in terms of people
you met as a result. Career moves that worked out well.
How about family, health, location, attitude, schooling and
other learning? What about skills you now have that you
may not have acquired if your "problem" never happened?
Do this for every "problem" you ever had that you think or
even "know" stopped you or limited your life in some way.
I think... no, I know that you'll find otherwise.
There are no such things as problems.
Shakespeare said, "Nothing is either good or bad, but
thinking makes it so." You see, there are certain
indisputable principles of life, and this is one of them.
Just because you've managed to live for 20, 40 or even 80
years and this never occurred to you doesn't mean it's not
true.
There is nothing more true. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
Once you start to instantly "feel" deep inside you that
this thing that just happened to you is actually your next
gift, your next chance to grow, to gain peace of mind, to
finally understand that there IS such a thing as a problem-
free life...
...that's when you'll stop living with wild mood swings.
That is when you'll realize that you can reduce and even
get off your happy pills because your mental focus isn't on
problems any more. That's when you'll start doing things
that used to make you nervous and scared and you won't be
scared ay more.
When you accept the unwanted hurdles that pop up daily as
simply a part of your path and move over them like someone
who's on the way somewhere, then every day will go a lot
smoother and happier.
So do this...
Write down some rotten stuff that's happened to you in the
last year or so. Then look for the silver lining in each
one. Write down the good that came out of each one. If
you can't, then you're not looking with intention of
finding it... because it IS there.
Write them down and carry the list with you. Then, the
next time you find yourself in an irritated mood, pull out
your list and see what all your hurdles have actually done
for you.
I bet you'll smile.
And isn't that better than fuming? You'd better say yes!
No question about it.
People who are don't get to move about without supervision.
But it IS possible to take just about anything that could
happen to you and USE it to feel good... happy, empowered,
strong.
A woman I know used to look at the fact that her now ex-
spouse did everything possible to sabotage her finishing
college, and felt upset whenever she thought about it. It
seemed to her that she would have been much farther along
in her career, she'd probably live in a much nicer home,
etc. if she had been able to finish college right after
high school.
This was a constant source of despair. She felt that if
she had not married him, her life would be so much better
today.
I told her that I didn't believe in that; that I feel that
there is a reason for everything... even though it often
doesn't seem that way.
If you examine your own life, I think you'll see that
those things that get you down often are, in truth, the
source of some of your greatest joys and may have set the
direction at some of the most important crossroads of your
life.
In her case, as a result of her being married, she had
moved to a different city, where she got a great job and
flourished in it. She made a lot of great friends whom she
loves deeply. She has a daughter that she wouldn't trade
for the world. Plus, the move to the new city made it
possible for her to ultimately meet and marry the man she
calls her soul mate.
So, none of the great parts of her life would exist if it
wasn't for her first marriage.
Although it wasn't the wisest thing to do at the time, it
was now ridiculous to beat herself up for succumbing to the
pressure her ex-husband applied all those years ago. I
helped her to realize that it's BECAUSE of her decision to
marry at a young age and not finish college immediately
that gave her all the things that she enjoys most about her
life.
She ultimately got her degree and joined the ranks of CPA,
just as she would have if she stayed in college to begin
with.
If she had done it differently, nothing that she holds so
dear today would be in her life. Kind of like the movie,
"It's A Wonderful Life," huh?
After I pointed that out, she realized that problems are
not problems at all.
Problems, as we call them, are situations that either
teach us to go forward more intelligently, or they're dead
ends. But they can only be dead ends if we decide they'll
be.
If we hold onto our old decisions, "bad" breaks, and
situations that didn't work out for us in the short run,
using them to remind us that we're just not meant to be
happy, that we're not good enough, that we'll never get
another chance...
...then that's exactly what our life's story will be.
Even when things are great, it's still possible to look
back with regret, isn't it? How does it make you feel when
you do that?
Like crap?
Then you just need perspective.
Look at all those situations that appear to have been
tragedies. See what they meant to you in terms of people
you met as a result. Career moves that worked out well.
How about family, health, location, attitude, schooling and
other learning? What about skills you now have that you
may not have acquired if your "problem" never happened?
Do this for every "problem" you ever had that you think or
even "know" stopped you or limited your life in some way.
I think... no, I know that you'll find otherwise.
There are no such things as problems.
Shakespeare said, "Nothing is either good or bad, but
thinking makes it so." You see, there are certain
indisputable principles of life, and this is one of them.
Just because you've managed to live for 20, 40 or even 80
years and this never occurred to you doesn't mean it's not
true.
There is nothing more true. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
Once you start to instantly "feel" deep inside you that
this thing that just happened to you is actually your next
gift, your next chance to grow, to gain peace of mind, to
finally understand that there IS such a thing as a problem-
free life...
...that's when you'll stop living with wild mood swings.
That is when you'll realize that you can reduce and even
get off your happy pills because your mental focus isn't on
problems any more. That's when you'll start doing things
that used to make you nervous and scared and you won't be
scared ay more.
When you accept the unwanted hurdles that pop up daily as
simply a part of your path and move over them like someone
who's on the way somewhere, then every day will go a lot
smoother and happier.
So do this...
Write down some rotten stuff that's happened to you in the
last year or so. Then look for the silver lining in each
one. Write down the good that came out of each one. If
you can't, then you're not looking with intention of
finding it... because it IS there.
Write them down and carry the list with you. Then, the
next time you find yourself in an irritated mood, pull out
your list and see what all your hurdles have actually done
for you.
I bet you'll smile.
And isn't that better than fuming? You'd better say yes!
motivation statements
I was always perplexed by the question, "What came first,
the chicken or the egg?" Does that have an answer? I
don't know.
But an equally good one that does have an answer is, "What
comes first, confidence or large achievements?"
The answer most definitely is confidence.
No. You don't need large accomplishments to gain
confidence.
But what creates confidence and how can you get more of it
so you can consistently achieve more and have fun doing it?
And what is it that causes a loss of confidence?
It's easy to see in the world of sports the difference
between confidence and doubt. Team A goes on a tear and
destroys their opponent by an enormous amount of runs,
baskets, goals, etc. But the next night, you've got the
same two teams and this time it's Team B that administers
the beating.
What's the difference? Players on the losing teams often
say things like this:
- We just weren't focusing.
- Our emotions weren't in check.
- When they scored in the 3rd quarter, the wind went out
of our sails.
- We just weren't taking good shots.
- Once the crowd got into the game, we got out of our
rhythm.
Those things took their confidence away. They didn't
trust themselves. So their performance for the ENTIRE game
or large portions of it was sub-par.
The next day, different mind set... VERY different
results. The focus was there now. They clearly visualized
their outcomes. Momentum never left for long. Belief came
back. They refused to be intimidated and wouldn't accept
defeat.
I often use sports analogies because there is absolutely
no difference between games and life... especially your
life.
Every day, life demands that you perform. Whether it's
just cleaning the house, raking or trying to enjoy yourself
while you pack up and take a vacation with your family,
your confidence level affects your performance and your
enjoyment.
Confidence. What is it?
To me, confidence is just a feeling that you can do
something.
It's the current knowledge that if challenge pops up, and
they always do, you can overcome it. With this knowing
comes the ability to perform at your best.
But as soon as the feelings wane, your positive expectancy
drops and you start to focus on mistakes instead of your
goals. You start to feel less capable, so you hesitate.
When your confidence leaves you, you can't make decisions.
And when you start to replay these unsupportive mental
pictures, you literally couldn't buy a few minutes of
success at any price.
This power was never more evident as when John Wooden and
his legendary UCLA basketball teams won a record 88 games
in a row. For nearly 4 years, they didn't lose a single
game.
His teams won 7 consecutive national championships. In
the next thousand years, it hardly seems possible that his
records will be approached.
He knew that if he could gain momentum and hold it, the
other team would mentally give up. Their pressure forced
mistakes and caused the opponents to hesitate, to not want
to make more mistakes.
But when your focus is on not making mistakes... you make
mistakes!!!
So how do you gain confidence and keep it?
You must picture success before it happens. Your internal
dialog must be that of expecting success... yes, even
before you have success. How?
Well, how do you learn anything? By repetition, of course.
Look at your bookshelves. If there are more than a few
self-help books, and you don't yet have the qualities
taught inside the covers, then it's repetition that's
missing.
Coke and Pepsi spend tens of millions of dollars each year
to program you to buy their carbonated caramel water.
Why? Because repetition works.
They sell billions of dollars of their products simply
because they communicate their message constantly. Do you
remember the words of songs that you haven't heard in
years?
I'll bet you do!
If you take control of your own mind just like big
advertisers and communicate a positive message of belief
and hope and of expecting to get what you want, and you do
it with repetition, you know what?
You'll become confident.
At least you'll have hope, to start.
And confidence begins with hope. Without hope, a glimmer
of optimism, you wouldn't even try.
If you haven't up until now, start really using this tool.
If you do, just like a drill or a hammer makes building a
structure a thousand times better and faster, you'll
achieve more every single day... easier, better and with
more joy than you ever thought possible.
the chicken or the egg?" Does that have an answer? I
don't know.
But an equally good one that does have an answer is, "What
comes first, confidence or large achievements?"
The answer most definitely is confidence.
No. You don't need large accomplishments to gain
confidence.
But what creates confidence and how can you get more of it
so you can consistently achieve more and have fun doing it?
And what is it that causes a loss of confidence?
It's easy to see in the world of sports the difference
between confidence and doubt. Team A goes on a tear and
destroys their opponent by an enormous amount of runs,
baskets, goals, etc. But the next night, you've got the
same two teams and this time it's Team B that administers
the beating.
What's the difference? Players on the losing teams often
say things like this:
- We just weren't focusing.
- Our emotions weren't in check.
- When they scored in the 3rd quarter, the wind went out
of our sails.
- We just weren't taking good shots.
- Once the crowd got into the game, we got out of our
rhythm.
Those things took their confidence away. They didn't
trust themselves. So their performance for the ENTIRE game
or large portions of it was sub-par.
The next day, different mind set... VERY different
results. The focus was there now. They clearly visualized
their outcomes. Momentum never left for long. Belief came
back. They refused to be intimidated and wouldn't accept
defeat.
I often use sports analogies because there is absolutely
no difference between games and life... especially your
life.
Every day, life demands that you perform. Whether it's
just cleaning the house, raking or trying to enjoy yourself
while you pack up and take a vacation with your family,
your confidence level affects your performance and your
enjoyment.
Confidence. What is it?
To me, confidence is just a feeling that you can do
something.
It's the current knowledge that if challenge pops up, and
they always do, you can overcome it. With this knowing
comes the ability to perform at your best.
But as soon as the feelings wane, your positive expectancy
drops and you start to focus on mistakes instead of your
goals. You start to feel less capable, so you hesitate.
When your confidence leaves you, you can't make decisions.
And when you start to replay these unsupportive mental
pictures, you literally couldn't buy a few minutes of
success at any price.
This power was never more evident as when John Wooden and
his legendary UCLA basketball teams won a record 88 games
in a row. For nearly 4 years, they didn't lose a single
game.
His teams won 7 consecutive national championships. In
the next thousand years, it hardly seems possible that his
records will be approached.
He knew that if he could gain momentum and hold it, the
other team would mentally give up. Their pressure forced
mistakes and caused the opponents to hesitate, to not want
to make more mistakes.
But when your focus is on not making mistakes... you make
mistakes!!!
So how do you gain confidence and keep it?
You must picture success before it happens. Your internal
dialog must be that of expecting success... yes, even
before you have success. How?
Well, how do you learn anything? By repetition, of course.
Look at your bookshelves. If there are more than a few
self-help books, and you don't yet have the qualities
taught inside the covers, then it's repetition that's
missing.
Coke and Pepsi spend tens of millions of dollars each year
to program you to buy their carbonated caramel water.
Why? Because repetition works.
They sell billions of dollars of their products simply
because they communicate their message constantly. Do you
remember the words of songs that you haven't heard in
years?
I'll bet you do!
If you take control of your own mind just like big
advertisers and communicate a positive message of belief
and hope and of expecting to get what you want, and you do
it with repetition, you know what?
You'll become confident.
At least you'll have hope, to start.
And confidence begins with hope. Without hope, a glimmer
of optimism, you wouldn't even try.
If you haven't up until now, start really using this tool.
If you do, just like a drill or a hammer makes building a
structure a thousand times better and faster, you'll
achieve more every single day... easier, better and with
more joy than you ever thought possible.
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